To Be or Not To Be: The Actors Page 16

  “So this is where the party is happening.” Christina smiled and handed a glass to Jenna.

  They toasted.

  “You were amazing, Christina.”

  “You too, dear. You too.” Christina put her arm around Jenna and drew Jenna tightly against her.

  “Okay, guys.” Larry put up his hand to get everyone’s attention. “Trevor doesn’t want to hear reviews. And I understand why. Many actors believe reviews, good or bad, hurt subsequent performances. They will be forever acting ‘to’ that review. I respect that—usually. But please, just indulge me on this one.”

  Trevor bowed and moved aside as Larry stepped up, holding a glass of champagne in one hand and a cell phone in the other.

  “Uh-um.” Larry cleared this throat and read off his phone. “Trevor Hughes was exquisite as Hamlet, far surpassing anything this reviewer could have imagined.”

  The cast burst out into applause, and Trevor held up his hand modestly, thanking them. The only thing he hated about theatre was the accolades—of course, the inverse was even worse. But still. Here he was, a thirty-two year old man, listening to what other people had to say about his art. Really, who cared? Christ. He was getting too old for this crap.

  “Wait, wait. Let me finish.” Larry read again. “But equally thrilling was Ophelia, played by the young Jenna Joyce. Her mad scenes were heartbreaking, gripping, passionate, and emotional. A truly stand-out performance among a cast of excellent, seasoned professionals.”

  ****

  More roses and champagne bottles filled Jenna’s dressing room as reviews came in. Trevor refused to listen to the reviews and he wouldn’t let Jenna either, which was just fine by her. Trevor dealt with the producers and fans while Jenna laughed with her cast mates. She couldn’t remember another time, in her whole life, when she had ever been this happy. She glanced at Trevor who was leaning down, speaking to one of his investors, and she knew he was the reason for her happiness. The moment would have been perfect if only he didn’t look so worried. His face was drawn downward into a scowl as he turned away from the investor, checking his phone again. There still must have been no response from Amanda. Damn.

  Kat Price made her way backstage with Luis and Loretta in tow.

  “Jenna, you were amazing.” Luis lifted Jenna into the air, hugging her.

  Loretta planted a kiss on Jenna’s cheek. Kat stood back, sniffling into a tissue.

  “Is she crying because she’s touched or because she thinks she’s going to sell you to Hollywood and finally get that vacation home?” Luis whispered into Jenna’s ear.

  “You’ll get her the house long before me.” Jenna punched him playfully. “Mister, I-Have-an-Audition-for-the-Newest-Crime-Drama-to-be-Filmed-in-New-York.”

  “You know about that?”

  “Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

  “Because I found out this week, opening week for you. And you’ve been a little busy. Besides, you needed to focus on Ophelia. How’d you find out?”

  “Trevor told me…” Her words fell away as Maggie sauntered into the dressing room.

  Jenna’s gaze ran up and down Maggie. Good grief, she was gorgeous. Her flowing blonde hair fell over her shoulders with loose curls hovering around her giant breasts. She wore a fitted red dress, hugging every freaking amazing curve God had blessed her with. Her long legs ended in a pair of nude pumps, and over her shoulders, cascading down, lay an opened red silk coat. Her soft gorgeous face was perfectly made up, emphasizing giant blue eyes and a shiny nude gloss accentuated her pouty lips. Like Trevor, it was too much beauty for real life.

  Jenna’s shoulders rounded forward. She felt incredibly self-conscious in her ripped gown and messy hair. But maybe it was better this way; even completely dressed up she could never compete with the likes of Maggie. Maggie inched her way over next to Trevor—the two of them looking like stunningly beautiful aliens among normal-looking humans. He leaned down and kissed her quickly, his gaze dashing up to Jenna. Jenna’s face warmed, and her stomach clenched. Crap.

  She turned to Luis. “I’m sorry Luis, just give me a sec.”

  Jenna moved away from Luis, closing her opened jaw. Maggie turned to her, and Jenna took a tiny step backward as Maggie walked over to her.

  “Jenna.”

  Maggie held out her hand, and Jenna took it. They shook.

  “Hi, Maggie.”

  Maggie smiled, exposing gorgeous white teeth. “That was an amazing performance. Honestly, when they first cast you, I didn’t know you were that talented. I was pissed at him for not casting me. But now I see why.”

  “Oh. Uh, thanks.” Jenna squeezed her champagne glass, nervously. “Um, Maggie, did you want to be Ophelia? Really?” The question slipped out before Jenna could think about what she was asking.

  Maggie gave a half-smile. “Not really. I like being on TV. I know to some of you that’s a weakness in me—that I don’t love theatre, that I don’t want to roll up my sleeves and dive in to the underbelly of my art or whatever…but it’s where I’m comfortable.”

  “Then who cares what anyone else thinks? Fuck ’em.” Jenna raised her glass in a toast.

  Maggie giggled. “Yeah, well, that’s the problem, isn’t it? I do.”

  Jenna giggled along with her. She placed her glass down on the counter in front of her mirror. “Maggie. I’m sorry I was so rude to you that day at the theatre. It wasn’t you. I was pissed and so confused…it’s not an excuse, but I’m sorry.”

  Maggie nodded, smiling. “Thanks. See you, Jenna.” She turned and walked over to Larry and a few of the other cast members. Within minutes she was circled by a group of five or six men—some actors, some investors.

  Jenna smiled, and out of the corner of her eye she spied Trevor put his phone to his ear, rushing out of the dressing room. She found him in the hallway talking on his phone.

  “Yes, yes. How long? Are they taking him in now?” Trevor rubbed his temple with his free hand. “I’ll be right there.” He clicked off his phone, shoving it into his pocket.

  “What happened?” Jenna moved closer. “It’s Toby?”

  “Yes.” Trevor jogged to his dressing room.

  Jenna followed. “Trevor, tell me what I can do. Anything. Please.”

  “There’s nothing to do but wait.” He pulled on his gray parka, and threw his worn brown leather bag over his shoulder.

  “Then let me wait with you.”

  He stopped moving to look at Jenna. “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I want to. Let me just grab my coat and bag, and I’ll let Maggie know so she can come too.”

  Trevor nodded as Jenna rushed to her dressing room. She spied Maggie laughing with a new group of men.

  “Maggie.”

  Jenna tossed her head for Maggie to follow and Maggie stepped away from her group.

  “Something is going on with Toby; we have to go.” Jenna pulled on her army jacket and threw her messenger bag over her shoulder.

  “Toby?” Maggie cocked her head.

  “Trevor’s nephew. The one who’s sick. The one Trevor supports…?”

  Maggie squinted.

  “Look, Maggie, we don’t have time for this now. Let’s go.”

  “Jenna?” Luis and Loretta stepped up. “You okay?”

  “I have to go. I’ll text you the info from Trevor’s phone.”

  Jenna grabbed Maggie’s hand and pulled her into the hallway. They found Trevor and the three of them rushed from the theatre to Trevor’s car.

  ****

  Trevor sat on the hard white plastic chair and leaned his head back against the cold sterile wall of the emergency wing at the children’s hospital on Long Island. Toby was having an emergency embolectomy to remove a blockage that was preventing circulation in his right leg. That’s what Amanda hadn’t shared, Toby was complaining about pain in his leg, and tonight they found he needed emergency surgery to prevent an amputation.

  “Hey Trevor.” Dr. Nars, one of the doctors doing rounds, walked up a
nd shook Trevor’s hand. “I heard you were here. I wanted to stop by to see if I could do anything for you.”

  “No, thanks.” Trevor shook his head.

  Dr. Nars sighed. “I wish I could say it was nice to see you. I’ll let you know if I hear anything.” He turned to Maggie who was sitting next to Trevor. “Hello.”

  “Hello.”

  She flushed a warm pink as Dr. Nars smiled. Trevor never before noticed that Dr. Nars was incredibly handsome in a very All-American, football-playing way. He was clean-shaven, at least six feet tall, with light brown hair combed just so and broad shoulders. Dr. Nars turned to Jenna to say hello and Trevor tensed like a dog about to fight. Thankfully, Jenna barely noticed the doctor. Trevor calmed a bit.

  Damn, doctors were checking on him; he and Amanda, and especially Toby, were at the hospital much too often. Toby had gone through both of his open heart surgeries here, and here they were again. Trevor looked down the hallway—it was so freaking white. Why? Why couldn’t it be blue? Or even pink? Why not some welcoming color? And the shiny floor with its “conservative tone” hopscotch-like pattern tile was damned annoying. Really? How many of these kids could go playing hopscotch down the hallway on their way into emergency surgery? And just how shiny does a floor have to be, anyway? He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes. And don’t even get him started on the smell. Jenna was right, hospitals always smell the same—antiseptic and plastic. It was enough to make him want to puke. He opened his eyes and Jenna was smiling at him.

  “The butterflies on the walls are really pretty. Probably make the kids happy on their way into surgery.”

  Butterflies? He’d never before noticed the large colorful butterflies stenciled into a border high on the wall. Trevor snapped his head down, leveling his eyes on Jenna. “Happy? You think any one of these kids is anything less than terrified?”

  Her eyes widened as she sat back in her chair. “No, I didn’t mean…” She looked away.

  Maggie shifted in her seat. She hadn’t spoken a word since they got there. “Jenna? Would you mind grabbing coffee for all of us?”

  “Uh, sure.” Jenna stood, her filthy torn costume dragging at her feet. She lifted it as she moved. “I saw the cafeteria on our way here. I’ll just be a minute.”

  “Thanks.” Maggie waited for Jenna to walk through another white double door before she turned to Trevor. “All right, Trevor. Stop being a jerk.”

  “Excuse me?” He sat forward in his seat, turning to Maggie. “Did you just call me a jerk?”

  “Yes. I know you’re worried but that girl is really trying and you’re fucking it up.”

  “What?” Trevor fought to focus on Maggie’s words. “Are you pimping me out?”

  “Good grief, Trevor. I’m as sick of this as you are. We’re good people but we’re not right for each other, no matter how much my father wants us to be. And he only wants it, because it’s good for ratings. I say, fuck the ratings. We need to live a little. Neither of us is getting younger.” She tilted her head. “Look. This has been a long time coming. We’re completely different and frankly, I’m tired of feeling like I’m not good enough because I don’t enjoy the gritty artsy things you do.”

  “Maggie.” Trevor sat up straight. “I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way.”

  “I know that. Not directly, anyway. But I did. And you resented me at times. And frankly, no matter what people think of me, or what image I portray on TV, I’m a nice person. And a decent person. I’ll be thirty years old in a couple of months, do you know that?”

  “If I thought about it…”

  “Oh, Trevor. I deserve a man who thinks the sun rises and sets on me.”

  “Yes, you do.”

  “That girl who came here with us tonight, she loves you.”

  “What?” He sat up, his heart racing.

  “She gave up her Valentine’s Day and her first opening night to come sit with you while you act like an asshole and just to be certain you were okay, she brought your soap-opera-star girlfriend along. Who else would do something like that except a woman who loves you?”

  “I, uh…”

  “Don’t blow this. Let her in like you never let me in. I like you Trev, always have. I want to be your friend, but not your girlfriend and not your wife. Jesus.” She shook her head. “I want some nice, normal, millionaire, middle-aged, pot-bellied guy who thanks God every day for the goddess he has lying in his bed. I want to grow old and fat in a mansion in Westchester with a whole brood of spoiled kids.” She shrugged. “All those things that would make you cringe—I want them. And now is my time to get them.”

  “Okay.” He looked deeply into her eyes. “After all this time together, you’re really okay?”

  “It’s not like we were really together. Jesus, after nearly four years together the only things we left at each other’s apartments were toothbrushes.” She looked away and back again. “You know what does hurt? The thing that hurts is…you were afraid I would get my father to fire you, weren’t you?”

  Trevor didn’t answer.

  “That’s what I thought. That’s why you dragged this on and on. But come on, Trev. I like working with you. You’re a great actor. And even if you weren’t, give me a little credit. I have my dignity.”

  “I’m sorry. And yes, you certainly are dignified, Maggie.”

  “Thank you.” She placed her hand on Trevor’s arm and laid her head on his shoulder. “How come I never knew more about Toby?”

  “The one time you met him you were completely disinterested.”

  “At that picnic?” She sat up, facing him. “If you remember that picnic, you’ll remember my father was bugging me to meet some new investors who got drunk and tried to grope me. I was trying to survive that picnic. Not that you noticed. Sorry if I blew off Toby, I never meant to.”

  “Maggie.” Trevor reached out and took her hands in his. He squeezed. A thousand pounds fell from his shoulders as he smiled at her. “I’m sorry I wasn’t a better boyfriend. I should have seen that. I should have cared…about everything. About you.”

  “Yeah, you should have.”

  He smiled. “Is it weird this is the first time I’ve wanted to kiss you in a long time?”

  She laughed, tossing her head back. “Well, don’t. I want to go say hi to that doctor who walked by before…Dr. Nars, was it?”

  “Yeah.”

  She smiled, opening her arms. Trevor embraced her. She was soft, and warm and beautiful but she felt all wrong. She broke their embrace, stood, and Trevor stood with her.

  “I’m gonna take off.”

  “How are you getting home? You can take the car.”

  She planted her hands on her hips. “I make nearly as much as you. I’ll call a car service.” She tightly tied the belt of her coat around herself. “Shoot me a text when he’s out of surgery, please.”

  Trevor reached out and took her hand. “Thank you, Maggie. For all of it. I’m sorry I wasn’t—”

  She reached out and placed her hand on his lips. “It wasn’t just you, Trev. I wasn’t either. Anyway, Happy Valentines’ Day.”

  “Happy Valentine’s Day, Maggie.”

  She turned and sauntered away, and Trevor’s shoulders collapsed with exhaustion and relief.

  ****

  It wasn’t exactly spying; it was just that when Jenna came back with three cups of coffee—two black, guessing Maggie wouldn’t waste the calories on cream and sugar—she didn’t expect to find them in an embrace. But what did she think would happen? Jenna peered through the crack she made with her foot wedged in the swinging double doors leading to the hallway of the ICU. She carefully balanced the coffee cups on their tray and peeked at Trevor and Maggie again. Damn, they were still hugging. The sight of them went straight to Jenna’s core, swirling around like she had just eaten three-week-old Chinese food that had been left out in the hot sun. They stood, and Jenna backed up, letting the door close. The edge of her costume got caught in the door but she prayed no one wo
uld notice the piece of grayish silk sticking out between two stark white hospital doors. Crap. She really didn’t need to see them kiss or whatever else they were doing. Besides, she had brought Maggie to help Trevor feel better, and if that’s what it—

  “Jenna?”

  Maggie pushed open the door, interrupting Jenna’s wild thoughts. Jenna’s gown fell free. “I’m taking off. Thanks for bringing me here. It helped more than you could imagine.”

  “I uh…”

  Maggie pointed to the coffee tray. “Is that for me?”

  “Black.” Jenna nodded.

  Maggie removed the coffee. “Thanks.” She held the cup for a moment, and then placed it back on the tray. “On second thought, I hate coffee.” She shrugged. “Only ever drank it for him.” She smiled. “Well, see ya around, Jenna.”

  Jenna watched her walk off. With her breath racing, she turned and pushed open the doors then slipped through. The coffee tray wobbled in her shaking hands. He stood there, all six-feet-two-inches of him, looking at her, his chest moving in time with his breath that was racing nearly as fast as hers.

  What the hell would she do now?

  ****

  “Mr. Hughes?”

  A doctor he had never seen before charged through the opposite doors, moving like he pushed through water. Trevor held his breath as the doctor, dressed in green scrubs, removed his hat and untied his mask.

  “He’s out of surgery. We’ve saved his leg. Thank God your sister got him here as quickly as she did.”

  “He’s okay?”

  “He’s resting. He needs to recover but the prognosis is good.”

  Air rushed from Trevor’s lungs in relief. “Can we see him?”

  “Your sister is asking for you.” The doctor’s gaze fell on Jenna, taking in her costume as he pushed open the door. “Your wife will have to wait, only one visitor at a time.”

  His wife? Trevor stood up taller. For the first time ever, he didn’t hate the sound of the word “wife.”

  “Oh, I’m not…” Jenna placed the tray of coffee on a seat as her words dropped off. She stepped up and slipped her hand in Trevor’s. “You go ahead. I’ll wait. Besides, I don’t want to get too close and scare him. Between my filthy gown and white makeup, I don’t want him to think I’m a ghost.”